PODCAST EPISODES

BC038: Dr. Marcuetta Sims - Selfishness - The Ultimate Act of Self Love

From as early as childhood, we have been taught to be generous with our time and energy. Any hint of selfishness is frowned upon. Even with our careers, we learn that being a team player is critical to our success. Today, Dr. Marcuetta Sims, a licensed psychologist specializing in helping Black women and people from marginalized identities heal from trauma, develop a healthier sense of Self, and enhance their overall wellness, discusses the costs of this generosity. Dr. Sims has created an online platform empowering Black women to care for themselves, The Art of Being Self-ish. She is also the founder of The Worth, Wisdom, and Wellness Center. We chat about setting boundaries in personal and professional settings, addressing violations of those boundaries, and reframing underlying beliefs that cause us to deprioritize ourselves. 

Topics Covered: 

  • Defining selfishness
  • How selfishness may serve the collective good and help us to develop a healthy sense of Self
  • Why Dr. Sims started the online platform, The Art of Being Self-ish
  • Understanding and setting boundaries and communicating those boundaries
  • Consequences of failing to set boundaries 
  • Counteracting feelings of guilt when putting yourself first
  • How to say “No” and prioritize your interests
  • Recognizing your limitations and asking for help
  • Addressing violations of your boundaries in the workplace 
  • How remote work can challenge our boundaries 
  • Being selfish about salary negotiations
  • Reframing inhibiting underlying beliefs
  • Dr. Sims’ favorite Instagram pages:
    • @Therapyforblackgirls
    • @hertherapyspace 
    • @mentalwellnesscollective
    • @blackmentalhealthmatters
    • @unapologeticallysurviving
    • @transparentblackgirl

Highlights:

  • “Selfishness is taking an inventory and focusing inward so that you can be available to do all of the plethora of things that you need to do.”
  • “When you choose to do something that is outside of your boundary or you choose to take on more than you need to, you are making a choice against yourself.” 
  • “No is a full complete sentence with a period at the end.”
  • “You have to be mindful of the ways that you engage with people that reinforce violations of boundaries.”
  • “Don’t feel selfish for applying for other jobs.”
  • “Selfishness–taking care of yourself–is the ultimate act of self love.”

Connect with Dr. Sims: 

On her YouTube Channel: The Art of Being Self-ish

On Instagram: @be_self_ish

Follow Dr. Sims’ work at the Worth, Wisdom, and Wellness Center on Instagram: @worthwisdomwellness

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